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I found out later that mom had a conversation with Jen and had asked her that when she felt like she wanted to lose her virginity to talk it over with her first. She impressed that it was a monumental decision and was not to be decided in the heat of the moment.In order to maintain appearances for the next year, Jen and I agreed that we would go out on dates with other people. Many times we double dated and had to maintain deportment with each other to not raise suspicions. It did bother me to see another boy kiss Jen but I guess she had the same feelings too. We turned fourteen and Jen had taken up cheerleading and was on the JV squad. I was playing football so we were both together at the games. Riding on the bus to away games with my sister didn't raise any suspicions. Several of the guys on the football team were lusting after Jen since she was the most beautiful girl in the whole school. I let them know that they were not to try anything with her or I would cut their balls. Such a bore. Sex with him was nice. Wasn't stellar but it was ok. It was perfunctory... Close to boring in its predictability but it did what it was meant to do. But it hadn't always been like that, I thought to myself as his breathing fell slowly into a calm rhythm. In a few minutes, he'd be completely asleep and then he'd roll over to the furthest side of the bed and start to snore. No, it hadn't always been like that. Not with my previous lover. It had been raw and intense and hadn't just served to balance hormones. It had been greedy and primal. It had reached down to the soul. My train of thought was interrupted by his hand slipping free from my waist his body shifting away from mine and rolling to the other side of the mattress. Such a predictable move. And wait for it... a split second later came the soft snore. He was a good guy. Really, he was. But it couldn't have been more obvious things weren't working out to either one's satisfaction. Yet we were lingering together. We.
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