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"Curtain Rods" aka "Best Divorce Story Ever"She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases. On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.She then cleaned up the kitchen and left. When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for. "They probably have private dining rooms." Oh, the things a mother does for her child," Claire told the room with great drama. Inside, she was thankful that she and Mark had at last begun to enjoy a relationship that anger and circumstances had denied them for so long.A few minutes later they were seated in a small meeting room cum dining room was barely large enough to seat them comfortably. The service was acceptable and the food mediocre at best. "Perhaps the government gets a discount," Rachel voiced the other's thoughts."Honey, get us out of that suite and into something better. I'd rather pay our own way, in any event. Try for two interconnecting suites so we'll have enough room to breathe."It took Rachel two hard hours of argument to move them into larger, more acceptable quarters. "I believe the old digs are bugged to the hilt." Mark made this observation and waved for Sam to follow him outside the new suite into the hallway that led to the elevator."My friend, I do believe.
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