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"Oh, that's Lane. He's my next door neighbor. He saved my house when the dryer caught fire. He helps me with things sometimes." Her eyes kind of twinkled when she said 'helps me with things'."Y'all spend much time together?" Oh, we visit a bit. Maybe twice a week. Sometimes we go out to eat together. He's single, and me, well, I'm a road widow. Neither of us want to cook for one and eat at home all the time." I'd go if I had money," I said, "just to get out of the house." You wanna make some money?" she asked."Depends on what I have to do. I don't want to be a homely young prostitute..."Sherry laughed. "Oh, certainly not. Lane REALLY needs some help to get his house cleaned. You could do it. He'd pay you." Clean some random dude's house. Sounds legit." Lane's a really nice guy, Lee. How much would you want?" Minimum wage would be nice." Tell 'im ten bucks an hour. And don't back down."I met Lane. Negotiated. Didn't back down. He was funny. A couple years older than Sherry. Not bad. He was not available for comment as had actually shat himself and he couldn't - and I quote him verbatim - "smell of p*o or afford an Uber" unquote - to appear in an interview in his own lounge, where he sleeps. Sharman OggPipier-Cusack, our most photogenic and legal intern, raised this man-in-the-street (homeless possibly) reaction.******===quoting a man, in the street : "What do you want Fatroundbro? What Fuck o...oh okay but give it to me now, cash. Notes. Bigger notes. More of them. What? WHAT??? Ummmm alright but IMMEDIATELY after this interview ....hm....ummm....okay b*o let's say 1st stall, knock twice and if any of your overly-white teeth are fake b*o, take them out on advance."*He adjusts his junk and tweezes each of their right nipples in his tobacco-stained, stumpy fingers, drool rolls out the side of his crooked sneer and he farts six wet, trumpeting blasts while mumbling something about self-lubing. It was not a sexy moment*"Okay FatchoppersuckBro this fucken.
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