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“I can’t smell anything,” she complained.“It’s not meant to. I like your natural smell.”“You bought it specially for me?”“Uh huh.”Although she didn’t make a sound, it felt as though she were purring.Meanwhile, I judged Mel’s hair to be sufficiently wet so I squirted a generous dollop of unscented shampoo into my palm and started to rub it in. It was really hard going so I missed getting to see most of Mel’s soaping up of her interesting bits, although she seemed to be doing a thorough job. Finally I had to admit defeat. “I need to rinse your hair now so hold your head back and close your eyes.”As Mel complied, I unhooked the shower-head and turned up the water and soon the pathetic attempt at a lather was being rinsed down the drain. I reset the water and rehooked-up the shower-head, then squeezed a lot more shampoo into my palm. Fortunately this time it built up a nice, soft lather and I could feel Mel’s hair giving up its deep-seated grime.Meanwhile Mel was satisfied with her work. I knew a punch line was coming."Uh-uh. Now we threaten them with the INS, ATF, or Janet Reno. They go in with machine guns and point them at your children."She said this with such a straight face that, had I not guffawed, Mac would have taken her seriously. Gertie always was the one person who could be relied on to have the latest sick government humor. As with most sick jokes, however, there was entirely too much truth in her statement."Excuse me, are you really Dr. Gertrude Schwartz of NIH?" asked Simone from the bed.The huge lady turned her considerable attention to the girl in the bed. "Yes, I am, child. Do you know me?" You wrote a book, 'The Dynamics of Hemoglobin Under Physical Stress' published in 1985." Yes, I did," Gertie said with surprise. "How did you know?" I read it," she stated simply. Simone could see the disbelief in Gertie's face. I knew if it was Gertie's book, it was undoubtedly a very thick and very technical book. Simone continued, "There were only four.
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