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Don't 'honeybun' me. And no I don't want a snuggle. Look, can you just fuck off, apparently I'm contractually obliged to answer this sodding letter". Dear Big BuggerFour inches!!! Sorry but you're just going to have to give me a minute whilst I catch my breath. I've known pigs with bigger dicks, and theirs are all corkscrewy. Oh well. Nevermind. There really isn't much point in you going to meet Miss Jiggly Tits with that little Iggle Piggle, she is going to be seriously underwhelmed. But, don't worry, we've got a little time to whip that pocket rocket into shape. Now I'm sure you've seen those adverts for pills in porn mags that will turn your Iggle Piggle into some Godzilla type monster, but believe me, those won't work. What you need is an exercise regime to whip it into shape (not literally, obvs, I can't imagine what good whipping it is going to do). The first step, however, is to build up its core strength and that means working out with weights. The type you get with old. Why am I freaking out about this? I'm only sixteen for crying out loud. I don't have to worry about kids and a family of my own yet. Talk about jumping the gun." Maybe a little. Are you sure you want to go out today. You seem a little edgy." Yes, I'm OK. I don't know where that came from," I admitted."Don't ask me. I missed that one. Let's see if we can take care of that bruise now shall we?"We returned to her vanity with Brandy's makeup bag. Mom was right about Brandy and I being the same skin tone. The foundation she had was a perfect match. I think mom had as much fun showing me how to use everything as I had learning how to use it. I got the concept down pretty easily but I'll need a lot of practice before I'm comfortable doing it myself. Call me crazy, but I get very nervous putting a sharpened pencil that close to my eyeball. I did manage to get the line sort of straight the first time.I was left to practice while mom took a shower and got ready for our trip. I didn't do too.
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