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" Thanks Barbara but its been so long I don't really think about it anymore." Long, how long?" Hmm, well its 2014 now so I guess a dozen. Yeah 12 years, the time does go fast." And you didn't get remarried. Blue eyed playboy I imagine." She looked around the yard and then the neighborhood for a minuet or two and I noticed her slender figure. "Actually when I saw you working on your sprinkler system I wanted to ask you something. I don't want to disturb you so, well but..."That did make me chuckle out loud a little, "Barbara its okay, ask away."She looked down at the ground breaking my eye contact, "Can you teach me to turn on my sprinkler system. My husband is at work and we are a few weeks behind and its just, I don't know these things."I could tell she was uncomfortable asking for help from a complete stranger and I didn't want to push her emotions in any direction. I quit doing that with married women years ago. "I do have a couple of more hours to get mine up an running. Is it. How did you do it?”“I used a diagram, your honor I drew two circles like this: Oo. Then I told them that the big circle is your brain before drugs and the small circle is your brain after drugs.”“That’s admirable,” says the judge. Then he turns to the second guy. “And how did you do?”“Well, your honor, I persuaded 156 people to give up drugs forever.”“Wow!” says the judge. “156 people! How did you manage to do that?”“Well, I used a similar diagram,” the guy says. “I drew two circles like this: oO. Then I pointed to the little circle and said, ‘This is your asshole before prison...”This is compliments of J & BJust some DEEP thoughts for 2017• The location of your mailbox shows you how far away from your house you can be in a robe before you start looking like a mental patient.• My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.• The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. Pretty sure she’s going to get me.
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