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”“Ugh. Count me out!” I said. “I’d rather have Jessica teach me to disimpact a bowel!”“Gross!” Bethany laughed, wrinkling her nose. “She’s done that?”“You don’t even want to know some of the stuff she’s had to do, or seen done. There’s a reason Kara and I drop her at the door to the ER and avoid going inside most of the time!”“What’s the worst one?” Bethany smirked.“Depends on what you mean, but I’d say the college-age guy who tried a self-circumcision!”“What? No way!” Bethany gasped.Nick winced, and I totally understood the feeling.“Yep. His girlfriend didn’t like his foreskin, so he decided he could do it himself. The ER finished the job for him.”“And I thought new recruits were crazy!” Nick said, shaking his head.“Well, there was the guy who basically ate an entire toolbox of tools,” I chuckled.“What?” Nick gasped.“Yeah. Psych consult on that one. But not before he ate some surgical instruments he found while he was waiting to be worked up for his stomach pains.”“You know, I think. “And the tail?” Lia grinned as she turned and bent over a little for him to see, all of us now somehow past the stage of being shy for the sake of appearances.“No less impressive, certainly.”“Yeah, but still, Pop, I’m walking like a fucking duck because of what’s up my arsehole. Three fucking bead. Three,” she teased as she turned back to her father. “Sure you don’t want to come and watch, see the magic’n’shit?”Remy was smiling as shook his head. “I appreciate the offer, and it is certainly an intriguing one, but I feel you might be more free in your, er, posing, if your father were not present and watching.”Lia nodded, not fighting him on it. “So, out the gate at the bottom of the garden, then where do you suggest?”“Wherever you wish,” Remy said. “Jim? The trees you can see over the tops of the walls? Those run quite a ways in all directions giving you options aplenty. Just ask Lia, she knows most of the trees here on a first name basis. I know the grass hasn’t been cropped or cut.
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