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He says to the waiter:“Want coffee.”The waiter says, “Sure. Coming right up.”He gets the Indian a tall mug of coffee... The Indian drinks the coffee down in one gulp, takes a selfie with his cell phone, then turns and blasts the buffalo with the shotgun, causing parts of the animal to splatter everywhere and then just walks out.The next morning the Indian returns. He has his shotgun in one hand, pulling another male buffalo with the other.He walks up to the counter and says to the waiter:“Want coffee.”The waiter says “Whoa! We’re still cleaning up your mess from yesterday. What was all that about, anyway?”The Indian smiles and proudly says, “Training for position in Trudeau’s Liberal government: Come in, drink coffee, get selfie, shoot the bull, leave shit for others to clean up, disappear for rest of day.”One day, the pope was in from Italy and after a rough week of meeting archbishops and other religious figures, he decided to go see the Galveston shore in Texas. When he arrives in. Bill said, “Flynn, I was glad to see you had your house sound-proofed! I was afraid if you have the same effect on your little girly bride that you did on your late wife, you’d have police pounding on the door trying to rescue her.”Flynn said, “Bill, I know we agree that a man isn’t much of a man unless he is doing his best to make the woman in his life happy in their bedroom. The problem is, you need to stop living vicariously. You need to go out there and find yourself a woman, and then do your best to make sure she is making happy noises the neighbors can hear!“I recommend going down to the Short Horn Bar on Saturday nights. Find the almost pretty girl who looks sad and has definitely drunk too much. Take her home, tuck her in, and leave her your number. One of these days, a girl will understand what you did for her, and that you didn’t take anything for yourself. When she calls you, be brave enough to meet her. If you aren’t a total punter, she’ll be making happy noises for you.
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