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’ She just looked at me and waited. ‘I’m pregnant.’ She looked at me. ‘You think Diane and I can’t tell what morning sickness is? We’ve known since it started that it had to be that. ‘ I looked at the floor. ‘What do you think I should do?’ When she didn’t answer immediately, I looked up. Her eyes were tearing. She was Catholic and never believed in abortion, so I was surprised by her answer. ‘You have to decide if you want to keep this baby. Is Dennis the father?’ ‘Yes, Mom, of course. I’ve been with only him for over a year.’ ‘I thought you guys always used protection?’ ‘Mom, I was on the pill the entire time at college. You know that. I didn’t go off it and I didn’t forget. It just happened. Pills are not 100%.’ ‘Well, there are plenty of people who would love to adopt a healthy child.’ I looked at her. Oh. She hadn’t meant abortion. But I knew in my heart that I couldn’t do that, either. I said quietly. ‘I’ve thought about this and I think I’m going to keep it.’ My mother stared. That's what you werethinking, right?" Right." Well, my uncle saw it differently. He said, 'You need to keep your eyeon the prize for two reasons. One, as you fight to get closer to theprize, you may see that it's not really what you thought it was from afarand, two, sometimes the struggle and the fight to reach that prizechanges you. By the time you get there, you may not want that prize anymore. So keep checking to make sure it's what you thought it was, andthat you still want it."I realized then that part of me understood what she meant, but that partof me was having a problem synthesizing that information. I knew I'd betaking a step back in brain development, and that abstract reasoningmight be a bit of a problem for me since my brain was eight. It feltthat my memory of how I should be able to think of things was fighting mybrain's ability to do so. I kind of understood, and I nodded my headthough I'm sure my expression belied my true state of mental battle. I looked up.
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