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Sending the cow sprawling across the floor. Even before she could start crying I was kicking her in the guts, ignoring her screams as she folded in half, her breath rasping from her ugly fucking mouth.Moving around her I kicked her again, in the kidneys, watching her back arch in pain. All the time I was telling her what a lazy fucking cow she was, and again I kicked her, this time on the head. I must have caught her temple or something, as the fucking woman lay still. Her chest was still moving, so she wasn’t dead yet, but that was soon going to change. I went to the kitchen drawer and pulled a knife out, her favourite knife, the sharpest of hem all. Probably the only fucking thing in the house she looked after.Walking back to where she lay I put the knife under her dress at the neck, and slashed downwards, cutting the dress in half, and baring her body. The slut had stopped wearing fucking undies ages ago, telling me that she felt they held her too tight. Why she didn’t buy a size. Jeff returned to his position facing me. ‘Really?’ I said, like I couldn’t believe it. ‘That’s the act I have to follow?’ ‘Don’t worry,’ Jeff said. ‘I’ve got your back.’ I swear, the audience, I mean the guests, was responding like this was a comedy club. ‘For starters, in case you somehow missed it, you’re my hero.’ ‘That’s not exactly a vow,’ Jeff said. ‘It’s the preface.’ We were having fun with each other, like we always did, except there was a crowd of over three hundred listening in. ‘I promise to live up to your expectations. If I can’t do it right away, I’ll figure out how. ‘I promise to assume you know what you’re doing or talking about unless you indicate to the contrary, because you do. ‘I promise to use subterfuge, nag, kvetch and do whatever it takes to keep you healthy enough to become an old man. ‘And I promise to find the value in nerds, especially my nerd.’ Trust Jeff not to let this go. ‘You know, the term nerd was first used in If I Ran the Zoo, by Dr. Seuss..
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