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What’s the problem?”Customer: “I’m in the Outback with the girlfriend and she’s been stung on her thigh by a hornet and now her vagina has completely closed up!”Australian Telephone Operator: “Bummer!”Customer: “Great advice! Thanks mate, bye.”These are compliments of Gary H.Disturbing Beer News.Yesterday, University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. Men should take a concerned look at their beer consumption. The theory is that beer contains female hormones (hops contain phytoestrogens) and that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women. To test the theory, 100 men were fed 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:1) Gained weight.2) Talked excessively without making sense.3) Became overly emotional.4) Couldn’t drive.5) Failed to think rationally.6) Argued over nothing.7) Had to sit down while urinating.8) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.No. Ann smiled, knowing the reference. She placed thecoins in her right shoe, and slipped the shoes on. She reached down andattached the garter straps from her corset to her stocking tops.Standing up she admired herself in her mirror. She turned slightly leftand left shifting from one heel to the other. She was amazed at hertransformation. She took the pearl earrings and placed them in her ears.She unwrapped the long slender box from the wrapping and opened the bluevelvet box. In the box was a gold necklace with four large pearls.Puzzled she opened the card Jack had sent. Ann My Love, Thank you for becoming a part of My life and the lives of Tommy and Alex. A small gift from the boys and I. The four pearls represent Tommy, Alex and myself and the forth for us. I'll add another for each anniversary. Love with all my heart, JackShe put the dainty gold chain around her neck, and touched it to herneck. The pearls rested on her skin at her breastbone. She paused.
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