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” He said timidly.“Look…” We said at the same time.“You go first.” I said hoping he would address what had happened last night.“Look, I'm sorry. I know that that was wrong. And I don't want my lust to fuck up our friendship.”“Lust, huh?” I said smiling.Michael turned bright red. “I mean..c’mon, look at you…” It got silent. “anyways that's not the point. Can we just not speak of this?” Michael said finally. So we promised that we wouldn't speak of it again. But we both knew we damn sure wanted more. Things were definitely awkward for the first couple of days, but eventually we got passed it. But at the same time, since the kiss, Michael became very touchy feelie. Something like a hug turned into something more. He'd slowly rub my back, and before we let go, he'd slide his hands down my torso. I didn't mind it, I actually liked it, but me being the ‘playing hard to get’ female, I’d ignore it.One weekend, we bumped into each other at a bar. We got wasted together and I offered for him. In that moment I almost broke down. My eyes were wet; it would have been so damn easy to simply start weeping, right in front of him. But I didn't want to do that; with an effort of will I pulled myself together. "Did you ever... ?" I began. I couldn't finish the sentence." ... kill somebody?" he completed it for me. "Yes. And thinking back, I'd do it again, in a heartbeat. But I had the same reaction, afterwards. Same as you. In one way it was worse for me, it was a woman, not a man—or men, for you. For a long time I wondered, what if she wouldn't have fired? But she had a gun pointed right at me, she was scum, and I really had no choice." A woman," I mused. "That's hard, Richard." There've been others since," he said. "Both men, but more or less the same circumstances. I've hated it every time. But that's what we do. My people, I mean. I've been ready to kill, every time." Have you ever stood over one, one who was helpless, and just ... shot?" I asked suddenly.He shot me a sharp.
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