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The young man says, "I don't know about you, father, but in my church, when we pray, we keep our head down."Police are called to an apartment and find a woman holding a bloody 3-iron standing over a lifeless man.The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" Yes" says the woman."Did you hit him with that golf club?" Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face."How many times did you hit him?" I don't know -- put me down for a five."A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.As he approached the gates of Heaven,St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom. Billy would find his way into her bedroom and act as though he was just enjoying being near her when his real motive was to watch her put on her silky, ultra sheer nylon stockings. He would become mesmerized by this daily morning ritual of his mother's. What was it about her stockings that was so alluring? Their wispy sheerness was hypnotic especially as she gathered one up in her hand down to the dark reinforced toe and carefully slipped it onto her waiting foot with her toes pointed. It was almost too much to take as she continued to slide the stocking up her slender leg to the awaiting metal garter clasp attached to her girdle.Billy couldn't decide which part of this spectacle was his favorite. He loved watching his mother expertly attach the garter clip to the dark welt that matched the color of the heel and toe of her ultra sheer stocking. Then she would stand and twist toward her back to reach the rearward garter clip to attach to her nylon to it.Next, she sat back down.
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