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I like that first part – when I get in his car, try to assess the mood, talk small talk, listen to what music he has chosen to play, watch him squirm as he gets over his nerves, tease him whenever I can, try to be playful. The beer garden is quiet. Not a lot of people around and we drink some beers. He loves the beers – there’s a good variety on tap and he likes that they’re all foreign. The talk is stilted at first, but soon it’s flowing and he’s more at ease, he’s starting to build, loosening up and letting go. He’s dressed up for the night and it’s kind of an unusual choice for him – kind of date-like, as if we’re out on a first date. He looks clean and tidy and not sexy at all – and I find that just gorgeous. We’re bouncing stories off each other and I just love the way he gets so involved in my stories, validates my theories, tells me I’m clever and brave, laughs at my foibles in a gentle way, makes me want to tell him more – everything. The stories are new – what happened. " Me neither," I replied. "Actually, I fooled around with boys, and remember it being a lot of fun. Then girls came along." Now he said something I didn't expect. "I've had similar experiences, and I'm beginning to think I might go there again. Half curiosity, half excitement."The ball was in my court now. I thought for a few seconds, looked him in the eye, and said "So have I. In fact, I've gotten to the point where I think I'm ready to explore."Tim said, "Maybe we should explore that together." I smiled, and said, "I'd love to." Then he said, "You'll have to teach me, there are things I haven't done before." My response was, "We'll go slow. Remember, it's been a long time for me too. I might not like it as much."Without anything said, we picked up our plates and put them by the sink. I made a gesture toward the living room, and as he passed I put my hand on his shoulder. I left it there as we walked to the couch. Tim turned to me and said, "Can I have a hug?"I reached.
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