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’ McGuinness says: ‘Yep–kill ‘em all . . . what the feck.’ Adams turns distractedly to look over his shoulder and says to no one in particular: ‘Is there a wee woman here to make a cuppa tea or what?’ McGuinness looks doubtful. I can just see Adams sitting behind his desk on the terrorist train as it rolls through Lambeg and Lisburn, with the driver looking into the backs of the wee kitchen houses in case some wee woman is washing her milkwhite breasts at the sink. Worth a wank. Anyway, what I mean to say is I can see Adams with his peaked hat with the red star on it saying: ‘The personal life in Ireland is dead.’ Meanwhile, the gasworks is due for gentrification. Give it a couple years and there’ll be artists, artisans, craftspeople, boutiques all over the place. Meanwhile the artists of death have suddenly dashed over to my bus shelter. One says to me: ‘Alright boss? ‘Alright corporal,’ I say and I say it pleasantly. I don’t say ‘hope you guys get a trip to tap city today. I love it. I grab her ankles and spin her slowly to her side, I can still hear the egg vibrating inside her, what a fun girl. She's moaning in discomfort, her body must be rather sore from the ordeal. Taking a few minutes I remove the restraints and gag as she sits in the opening of the safe. "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU!" She shouts with a hint of a laugh behind it. "You're ok aren't you? Your plan worked right? I don't recall you writing a time on the post-it as to when you needed to be freed." I said half sarcastically. "No but..." "But nothing, now get upstairs." "What time is it?" She timidly asked as she reached for her clothes. I quickly grab them away from her and toss them aside. "It's about 6:30." "WHAT? I've been in there for over seven hours!" "Really?" I said as if I was surprised. "I thought you were better than that, should have gotten you out on Monday." "You'll need a more devious device than that if you are do something like that to me," she says with a grin. "I won?t do anything.
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