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“Roland, David Jones. You should have gotten my offer for one of your warehouses where the occupant’s failure to pay their rental agreement for three months. How does that deal look to you?” I asked him.He put me on hold to get some others on the line.Aaron, his in-house business attorney, asked, “Before we entertain any negotiations, can you tell me who wrote this sales contract? I have some concerns given the brevity but ironclad wording.”“Oh, that would be one of my best friends named Paula. She recently turned eighteen but passed the bar exams in the lower forty-eight states before starting high school. There should have been a press release from her law school now that she is old enough for them to brag about educating a prodigy, who is a female no less,” I explained. “I can call her to join the conference if you like.”I bet you don’t want her on the line since you must know who she is.The CFO was what I expected, a seasoned accountant that worked his way up from being a poor. "I was out walking in the big back yard, admiring the lake, when the little one wandered away from her family and I just managed to catch her before she went under the water," was all I said. No sense making more out of it that there was."Are you mental? Let me tell you how I found out about your little walk in the big back yard. Carlisle Kirby calls the President, because they just happen to be BEST FRIENDS, and tells him all about you charging across their yard, catching the falling baby, as she tumbles off the dock, into freezing, black, water, and how you held her body out of the water until someone could grab her. Then he tells him all about your broken, sick, body passing out and disappearing under the water from hypothermia, and the '"horrendous' head injury you suffered when diving to catch their baby granddaughter."Now, if that is a little walk in the big back yard to you, then you are mental!"And..."If I don't have a butt the next time you see me, it's because my boss just.
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