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“That was Grace. She’s just a friend.” I said wondering what all she’d seen. I made my move carefully. “I don’t kiss my friends that way.” She said. “Actually it looked like you were eating her face off.” She made her next move capturing three of my pieces. I decided to switch tactics. “How would you know? You haven’t even had your first kiss yet.” I said studying the board. She was winning. “Yes I have.” She lied. “No. You haven’t.” I scoffed. “Your parent’s won’t even let you look at boys.” “So. They can’t control what I do at school.” She said defensively. Her face was turning red so I knew I had worked the right angle. I made my move. “Okay, you know how to kiss then. If I win, you have to kiss me and prove it.” I watched her as I took my turn taking back control of the board. “Eww, no.” She said turning magenta. “Then I hope you have five bucks like you. I thought for a minute I would be able to relax, but nope. Still, Some of the best memories of my life are from then and 38 years later I still have my best friend. Putting some of it down on electronic paper left me in a good mood the entire next day which is rare for me.Part of that is learned behavior when you just accept life sucks and prepare for the worst then you can be pleasantly surprised. Which I’ve found beats the hell out of having hope and then getting it crushed out of you time after time. The other part comes from being in chronic pain. It’s hard to be in a civil much less happy mood when you constantly hurt. It wears on you. Then there’s the anxiety that comes from the fallout of the illness. I.E. paying bills with little money. Trying to maintain relationships. Worries about the future and if you have one.Every now and then though, things ease up a bit. You don’t hurt so much. You’re mind is a little clearer and you find a smile on your face. That’s me at the moment..
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