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"Well," he says. "There's not much to tell." He's looking at the floor and almost mumbling. "I'm just a big zero with girls," he says. "When I meet someone I'm attracted to, my libido overreacts and all I can do is stand there stuttering, with an obvious bulge in my pants." He shrugs."What do you do?" I ask, seriously curious about his answer."Well..." he looks at me sheepishly. "I go to the boys bathroom a lot." He looks at me to see if I get his meaning. I do."How much is a lot?" I ask, not sure why it matters but I really want to know."Five or six times a day," he says, not looking at me. Damn! This kid jacks off five or six times a day. What a waste of good cock. Down girl ... stay focused."Does that help?" I ask. "I mean, can you then go back and talk to the girl?" No!" he says, pounding his fist on his thigh. "Then I just, you know, get hard again and the stuttering starts all over." He buries his face in his hands. "I'm hopeless!" Hopeless my ass! Not if he recovers that. " Monte Cristo resumed the perusal of the letter:--"'And who only needs one thing more to make him happy.'" Yes, indeed but one!" said the major with a sigh."'Which is to recover a lost and adored son.'" A lost and adored son!" 'Stolen away in his infancy, either by an enemy of his noble family or by the gypsies.'" At the age of five years!" said the major with a deep sigh, and raising his eye to heaven."Unhappy father," said Monte Cristo. The count continued:--"'I have given him renewed life and hope, in the assurance that you have the power of restoring the son whom he has vainly sought for fifteen years.'" The major looked at the count with an indescribable expression of anxiety. "I have the power of so doing," said Monte Cristo. The major recovered his self-possession. "So, then," said he, "the letter was true to the end?" Did you doubt it, my dear Monsieur Bartolomeo?" No, indeed; certainly not; a good man, a man holding religious office, as does the Abbe Busoni, could not.
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