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I can live without knowing." "No. I think I want to tell you. I have never told anyone, but I want to now." I stayed silent, still holding him. I had my back against the couch with him lying against me sideways and moved to get a little more comfortable. I motioned for us to get on the couch, so we got up off the floor and sat down next to each other on the cushions. Before he could start having second thoughts about it, he began. "When I was real little, I had an older sister, Sarah. She was great. I used to sometimes call her mommy by accident. She was eight years older than I was, and she was a straight A student at special school for gifted children. I was four years old when she graduated high school. She wanted to become a doctor, so the next year, she went away to college. She was only twelve..." Joey stopped and wiped the tears away, which were quickly replaced by new ones. "We never saw her again. She disappeared. My mom got a call from the school.." He stopped again and. . we... that we ever had a brother. I remember him verywell, but I have trouble sometimes remembering what he looked like. Doyou remember William?"Shelly paused, "Sort of..." then shook her head sadly "No, not too muchI guess." "You were so young. I guess for you, there's only been me and Beth,huh?" Shelly didn't confirm or deny any part of her question. Instead,she sat and listened."Back then, there was always something that needed fixing. Mom and Dadwere stretched to the limits of what they could do. Mom wanted her sonback in the worst way. I think it brought back some pretty intensememories. Things she had discarded for the most part. Parts of herself..." Erin nodded in the direction of her mother's journal. "Youget a good sense of it reading that. Even then, I think Mom washolding back a lot of what really went on. With William, in the statehe wound up in, I think it brought back a lot of what she thought wasin her past. I think, in a way, what happened that summer.
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