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I looked at her."No," I said. "I'm leaving." I grabbed my jacket and my keys and wallet and left. I didn't even look back. I had a lot to think about."Oscar! No! Wait!" she called after my retreating figure.I was sick to my stomach. I needed my woman, but not like this. No sex for me. No sex ever? I wasn't going for it. I couldn't go for it. I needed it. Cuckold or not, I needed to be able to fuck my wife whenever I wanted to, and that was the long and the short of it. But, what if only half a loaf was all I could ever get? Should I throw even that away? It wasn't like women were lining up to get me in their beds.I drove around for some time. I was sitting at a traffic light when I looked to my left and saw a Travelodge. I needed to sleep and decided that this would be the place.The sun was my alarm clock. The shower worked pretty good, and the water was scalding hot, just what I needed. I hadn't packed any clothes. At work I had what everybody called our fatigues. I'd be getting. The first chapter was all about anal-sex myths. Some of them I thought were funny, but it did make me feel a lot more confident about what I was about to do. Still, after reading it I was no closer to actually doing it, so I skipped straight to Chapter 11, Anal Penetration! God I was nervous! As I read on though, Tristam made it sound pretty straight forward (and damned sexy!). By the time I’d finished the chapter one hand was rubbing me through my jeans and they were getting quite damp. At this point I was torn between my eagerness to try it, and my feelings of nervousness and guilt. Despite reading the first chapter, it still seemed too naughty to actually do, too illicit, and I felt guilty like I was about to cheat on my husband – with a purple toy. Looking at the toy made up my mind though, I couldn’t come this far and not go further. I put some music on, Shania Twain’s That Don’t Impress Me Much. I always feel slightly embarrassed when I hear that playing in public as I love to.
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