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The last day of class was actually a bittersweet day for him. He knew he wouldn’t miss the late nights grading student papers, or the nights where he was just bone tired and felt as if he wouldn’t make it through his entire lecture. He would however, miss the students. They kept him going and their energy made it all worthwhile. He sighed and flicked off the lights and walked out the door into the cool night air. It was late at night and he heard crickets chirping in the background. It was dark with only the moonlight to guide his path. He’d always thought the university campus could use a little more lighting. It was still and quiet and he could hear the crunching of the leaves underneath his footsteps. He breathed in deeply and could smell the decay of the leaves, the wet earth and the freshly trimmed eucalyptus trees. He began humming quietly. His car was parked quite a bit away from his classroom. He purposefully parked as far as he could. There were two benefits to doing so.. So, heartbroken, I give in and suffered in silence as one of the most important people in my life used and hurt me...but at least I was used to that kind of thing. I know now that she had no idea how much she hurt me with that. She was just young and thinking only of her own wants and needs. But we were all kind of like that when we were young. Still about killed me...I shut down my feelings as well as I could. I had to as they were so mixed. I loved her so much that I had to let her go. But thinking that the girl that I loved may be a bad person hurt. I didn't want to cut her out of my life...I had just got her back and was getting to know her. What I was finding was awesome and the thought that I was being fooled by my daughter like I had been fooled by her mother had me ready to run for the hills. Later we talked and she explained that, like me she is bipolar and has manic states where reason can be displaced by hypersexuality. She didn't mean to hurt me at all, she just couldn't.
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