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The kisses Sammi and I shared were soft, gentle, and hardly sexual at all. I had grown to love her dearly, but I didn't have a desire to make love to her. Odd as it might sound, it was a love that transcended sex. It was above that. There was nothing wrong with sexual love; it was wonderful. But there were times and certain people that sexual desire detracted from the love you felt for them. I assumed Sammi felt the same. She showed me how right I was (for once!).She calmed herself after awhile, and then turned around slowly to face me. She put her hands on either side of my face and gave me a long, friendly, gentle kiss. She smiled sadly at the look on my face."Don't worry, Daddy. I won't try anything. It will be a long time before I will ever view sex as pleasant and desirable again. If I could, it would be with you. I would love to show you how much I love you and how much I appreciate what you did for me. But it scares me to death." She started crying again."Daddy, I am so sorry!. However, I decided to suppress that thoughtuntil I finished the experiment.In the back part of the closet, I had one of the pairs of pantieshidden in a shoebox for me to try that night. I had to get a grip onwhat I was doing. So I sat on my bed and kept a close eye on Rachel.Was I a secret crossdresser? Only if one time counts as a trend. Thoughif I carried on I might turn out that way.Was I some kind of pervert? Not as far as I knew. I wasn't drawing somekind sexual pleasure, just a few brief hours of respite from the dreamsthat haunted me.Was I just deluding myself? I let this question slide for the timebeing because I wasn't sure how to answer it.What would my friends think? I didn't have time to answer that as thedoorbell rang. Hannah was standing there, with tears in her eyes. Veryquickly, I let my sister-in-law inside. Though she tried to keepherself busy by playing with Rachel, I could tell her heart wasn't init."Zach, I have something for you. Sarah gave it to me while she.
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