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A little older, maybe.’ Aware of Matt standing mutely at her side, Melissa found she couldn’t drag her gaze from the picture. There were so many questions racing through her head, she didn’t know which one to ask first–or indeed, whether she could bring herself to ask any of them. ‘It’s amazing, isn’t it?’ she heard Paula say. ‘Would you believe he had that hidden away for years? Greg only saw it when he helped him to move into the flat upstairs. He practically had to beg him to put it on display. And there’s a whole load of other paintings up there too, probably enough for an exhibition. He’s got a real talent, I think. Wasted as an architect. I–‘ ‘That’s enough.’ Startled by the cold note in Matt’s voice, Melissa turned to him at last. He looked strangely annoyed. ‘It’s just a hobby, that’s all.’ ‘You live upstairs?’ she faltered, surprised. ‘Here?’ ‘There’s a studio flat built into what used to be the bell tower,’ Paula said as he gave a curt nod. ‘It’s tiny. There’s barely enough. ”“Why?” says the blond.“Your tit is hanging out!” replies the cop, astounded.The blond looks down and says “Oh, shit! I left the baby on the bus again!”A man’s been through a rough patch of health, and the docs can’t work out what’s wrong. After he’s baffled the final expert, his doctor turns to him and says, “We can’t work out why this is happening, but you’re probably going to die in the next three months. What you can do is cut out all fatty and spicy food. Get rid of alcohol, cigarettes, coffee, tea, and any other drugs. take walks every day, but make sure you don’t exercise too hard.”The man says, “Will that give me longer to live?”The doc replies, “No, but it’ll certainly seem longer.”“My missus dumped me ‘cos she says I’m too obsessed with football,” said the first fella.“How long have you been with her?” asked the second fella.“Six seasons.”A young Scotsman leaves home and moves to New York. After six months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans..
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