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I hate to play the ‘what if’ game, but at this point I cannot avoid it any longer. What if we were closer? Why do I even tease myself with those thoughts? Why do we tease ourselves with those thoughts. It’s almost like torture, the way I ache for you. Why are we subjecting ourselves to this. Should we just agree to be friends and walk away, only talking every once in a while? Can I survive without air? NO! As smart as that would be, I do not believe I am capable of going through with it. You have become a valuable part of my life. I feel like I have this illness, and the only cure is you, and your presence. My heart aches when I wait to hear from you. I cannot imagine what a day without talking to you would be like. God. God! Why? If only these stupid tears could do something useful. I want you here, next to me, with me. I want to share everything I can with you, not just limit it to conversations. Oh, but those conversations. We would be nowhere without them. You have figured me. “I gave birth to three perfectly healthy babies, what went so wrong this time?” She muttered. Depression was already starting to infiltrate her consciousness. “Dan will hate me for losing our baby, I just know it! He’ll hate me so much and stop loving me. How could he ever possibly forgive me?” She said to an empty room, wiping away more tears.“Hello Karen, can I come in?” Doctor Cooper peeked in her room.“Of course, you can,” She grimaced in pain, trying to sit up. Doctor Cooper pulled up a chair and sat on Karen’s left. She checked her patient’s vitals, and everything was normal.“How are you feeling? Stupid question, of course, you feel lousy. Karen, I regret to inform you that the damage to your uterus was very severe. The uterine wall was so thin, the baby’s placenta had totally detached from it. We couldn’t save your baby girl. I’m so, so very sorry. We had to give you a subtotal hysterectomy. We removed your uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries, leaving the cervix intact.”“My.
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