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Despite my knowledge that this feeling could never be bottled and kept, I still found myself looking for it time and time again, but she never returned. I found myself then, looking for her. Checking the bars, the pubs. The alleyways. Hooked like a junkie. I won't go into all the women. Honestly, I doubt if I could. Not all of their chapters in my life are really worth remembering. Isabelle was next, probably the most memorable after my dancing girl. It was another late night, I was in a new club, trying to figure out just how the scene worked. The flashing lights, they cut into my soul and made me ill.Trapped in a sea of faces, but none of them her. None were my Dark Maiden, my dancing girl. I was about to leave and call it a night, when a tall stately brunette walked my way, She was fit and gorgeous,"Where are you going, handsome? Why don't you stay to dance?" she cooed."I'm honestly, not the best dancer," I admitted. "I'm sure to disappoint."Without any further hesitation, she. I didn’t respond to her remark.“Can you find it in your heart to forgive me—twice?” she said. I tendered her a confused look.“Twice?” I said.“Yes, once for you and once for Rina. I cannot believe I was so mean to that good woman,” she said.I didn’t say anything. She apparently took it for a “no” answer.“I understand,” she said. “At least you felt positive enough to come here today. I was deathly afraid you wouldn’t.”“I don’t know,” I said.“Huh?” she said.“I don’t know if I can forgive you, and I certainly don’t know if I can forgive you for what you said to my wife,” I said. “I just don’t know.”“I understand,” she said. “Maybe someday.” She had a hopeful look on her face.“Yeah, maybe someday,” I said.“Sam, your loss: can I say how sorry I am for you. I may not have been a very good person, I mean the day of the wedding, but I well...” she said.“Whatever. And it is my loss. You have no idea,” I said.“On that score, Sam, I think I do. I know how much my leaving you cost you. And now.
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