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Ibecame worried that they had told others of their plan. Renee and Dawn bothtold me they wouldn't do that as they valued my friendship. As we gotdrinks I tried to explain that I wasn't gay. They weren't buying it andtold me that they knew I was into men. I finally saw this as a chance toopen up about my secret. I made them swear to never talk about what I wasgoing to tell them. They both promised that it would remain a secret aslong as I wanted it to be."I'm not gay girls, while I'm attracted to men more than girls, it'sbecause I have always felt that I was a girl. I'm transgendered but havenever had the courage to come out and live as a women," I told them.They laughed and they said they knew there was something about me that theyloved. Renee asked me if I wore women's clothes and I told her I had apretty good collection that I wore in private. Dawn asked what name I likedand I told her while dressed as a woman I preferred Mandy. We talked for awhile when a guy came to the table and. He has the opportunities to do so, he has a great job, he has lots of friends, and he is building a life for himself that he and you would be proud of. I hope you understand that I can never become Jason again. He was a scared kid, running away from a very scary situation that he couldn't cope with at fifteen. I am not that kid anymore, Mom, and I haven't been for a long time."Now, I want you to know that I am not mad at you for what you did; I now understand why and what really happened. I want you in my life, just like I want DJ and Becky in my life too, but I can never be Jason again. It's been too long now, and I really like this new me. I'm going to start college in a couple of weeks and maybe you can come and visit at Christmas time. I would try to get up there, but my finances are pretty limited, and I can't let you give me money. I am going to school on an academic scholarship, and part of it is because of my financial situation. I can't let that go away. I have to do this my.
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