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You all have that. I had but one scholastic counsel for the whole year, no outside trouble, no late night phone calls and not once did I have to explain to an irate parent, local citizen or neighbor or even a faculty member that boys will be boys, or that girls will be girls. (group chuckles) Now, here's something you have to keep under your hats until tomorrow; for all of your efforts I have just been informed by Athletic Director Joe Barber that we have closed the deal and will be taking a trip to Tampa, Florida on December 19th to play under the dome in the United Banks and Finance Bowl. Our opponent that day will be the SunBelt Conference Champion and that looks to be Florida International or Florida Atlantic. This means a tremendous amount of prestige and leverage for future recruiting, and it means a sizable sum for the University, which is the reason they have supported us so richly as we adapt to Division One. So now, you all held it in so far, CELEBRATE!" He said as the room. Life has now been explained to you.There is no need to thank me for this valuable information. I'm doing it as a public service. If you are looking for me, I will be on the front porch!This one is compliments of chuckMinnesota Phone CompanyThere was a Minnesota phone company that was going to hire one team of telephone pole installers, and the boss had to choose between a team of twoNorwegian guys and a team of two Irish guys.So the boss met with both teams and said: "Here's what we'll do. Each team will be installing poles out on the new road for a day. The team that installs the most phone poles gets the job."Both teams headed right out.At end of the shift, Pat and Mike, the Irish guys, came back and the boss asked them how many they had installed. They said that it was tough going, but they'd put in twelve.Forty-five minutes later, Ole and Sven, the Norwegian guys came back in and they were totally exhausted.The boss asked, "Well, how many poles did you guys install?"Ole, the team.
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