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?" I know she thinks at first that I am perhaps my sister, I know that in aminute she will look into my eyes and somehow know that's not theexplanation. In a second, she will wonder if she's found an awkwardsecret about me, an embarrassing fascination with what's familiar to her,forbidden to me. Thinking she's found the reason why I hadn't asked herout to have a drink, to catch a movie.She says my name. She's asking, really.And with my nod, she knows. I think she knows. Or knows something,whether true or not.She stands there in my doorway, staring. Looking into my eyes, and meinto hers, as I have never done before. When I do, seeing the girl --really, she's barely more than a girl -- who wished only to be sweet tosomeone she feared had had not that much sweetness in his life. Anassumption that's maybe right or maybe not but that says so much of her,whatever it might say of me. An assumption that, when she heard that I'dcalled in sick, thought: Poor thing, I'll bring some nice hot. Watching dad struggle emotionally through the months and years following mom’s passing was heartbreaking. Dad remained in my parents’ home out in the country. It was certainly more of a house than he needed now, but he said there was a connection there that he just couldn’t sever. I wanted to be more supportive of dad during that awful time, but I was engulfed in my own tumultuous life, having recently ended a two year relationship with my boyfriend after catching him in bed with our neighbor! So after throwing his cheating ass out I had to face the realization that I simply couldn’t afford to stay in that apartment alone. I was not interested in a roommate and I was really at my wit’s end. What was I to do? Dad had helped me financially a few times in the past and I’m sure he would have helped me again had I asked. But honestly, I realized that his cash would provide only a short term fix and in my heart I knew that I needed to make a major lifestyle change. That’s when the idea.
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