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But then his smile turned into a chuckle, which soon became full-blown laughter right before he sighed, his face quickly changing to a grave expression as he spoke "Nope. Not dealing with this. I am not doing this right now, so please get the fuck away from my house." Caddie was taken aback by this, but the brunette still mantained her smile "Aww Eddie, aren't you happy to meet your girlfriend?" Edward gritted his teeth, his eyes full of rage for an instant which actually managed to make the girl's smile drop before his face went back to neutral "Fine. I'm leaving. And I'm not coming back as long as she isn't out of here." He said, not giving Caddie a chance to respond before walking off down the street.Edward's last thought before he tuned out was 'Why the fuck is this happening to me?'_______________________________________________And... scene! I know it's been a while but here we have another chapter. A series of unfortunate events, including college, a scholarship, writer's block. She had little legs, a small butt, a tiny waist... but her honkers were comparably huge. Damn, they struck me as S-E-X-Y in bold capital letters! I just stood there and stared.I wanted to turn away. Really I did. I just couldn't seem to make my muscles work. And then she turned and spotted me. She took a couple of steps toward me and laughed "Whatcha gawkiin' at, mister?" Uh, um,... nothing. Sorry."She stopped right in front of me and in a lowered voice said "Don't give me that, sailor. You were staring at my babuskas, weren't you? I know you were so be honest." Yes... yeah, I was. So? You have to admit they are pretty remarkable." Oh? You like big hooters, huh?" Yeah!" So... whatcha gonna give me to get to know 'em better?" She spoke with a sort of country familiarity."Huh? Oh! Well, whatever. I mean... what would it take?"She pressed against me and leaned forward so her mouth was beside my ear. I leaned toward her to hear what she had to say... and to let her knockers press into my.
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