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Unfortunately, like Pandora, I couldn't put the idea back in the box soeasily. It kept coming back to me. I looked up some information onit, hoping to find that it would be hard to even come by, and so noteven worth considering. I'd imagined batteries of psychological teststhat I'd never hope to pass, I was only a guy getting off dressing as agirl after all. But the more I looked, the more it didn't seemimpossible at all. Some doctors had an informed consent policy thatonly required you to understand and acknowledge the risks of thehormones, and several were nearby (go figure, I should have guessedthat would be the case in a University town in a liberal part of thecountry). Even worse was discovering that it might even be covered bymy insurance.---------------------------------------------------I kept on, determinedly ignoring the possibilities even as all myfirebreaks against the idea began to crumble, and I tried to hold tothe more masculine tack my clothing and habits had. But we're way too young to think about dying, right? We're what seventeen? Twenty? I'm twenty-six. It's still too young to consider dying. Except I've known people my age who died. Dear sweet friends and lovers. People who were too young to die. Like me.One drunk driver, one lunatic murderer, one unstoppable disease, one wrong step and life is over.Yesterday only got us to today. It had no other purpose. Tomorrow is a dream. The only thing real is today. Right now. This second. In this moment when you have the power to decide the course of your life, not how you will live tomorrow, but how your yesterdays will be remembered, what will you choose?That sends some people running to their churches, synagogues, and mosques to reform and become religious in this life. But it's not so they can be remembered. That's the fallacy of religion. It denies the inevitable. You will die.That will send others to the local bar. Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow you might die. That is not about how.
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