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I had to give the guy credit, he sure knew what he was doing.I just stared at Mom’s nude body for a full minute. I had never seen her naked before and I was enjoying it.Finally I reached over and gently removed the duct tape from her lips. I found that he had shoved a pair of her own panties in first so I removed them too.Mom said, “That fucking bastard raped me.”I asked, “Should I call the police?”Mom said, “No! He didn’t pay me! He fucked me but I told him that he could. He trussed me up, took pictures of me, and then the bastard walked out leaving me like this and to top it off he didn’t pay me either.”I said, “Don’t go anywhere” and I left. I went to my bedroom and got my digital camera.When I returned I aimed my camera at Mom and she asked, “What do you think you’re doing?”I replied, “Taking pictures. You let him do it so I figure I can too.”She protested the whole time so I eventually put her panties back in her mouth and the tape on her lips. I took a hundred and fifty. But I digress. It's not like this upstart crow is 'one of us'. He's from Warwickshire and as everyone knows the only things to come out of Warwickshire is steers and queers cows and gentlemen with homosexual inclinations. Therefore, it is our hope that as an uppity member of no standing within the literary community you may intercede with Mr Shaksper on our behalf and suggest, politely or with threats, that his creative endeavours may be better served by shelving this ill-conceived project. Otherwise, we'll go all Kit Marlowe on his arse, hey nonny nonny. Yours with the utmost contempt and disdain because I'm a member of The Royal Household and you're nothing but a pox-ridden hoi polloi type peasant. Fool, The (property of Lear, King) Dear Mr FoolSo let me get this straight; on the aforementioned night you met with Lear-y and Duke-y near the Hampstead Ponds whereupon you removed all your clothing despite the fact that a storm of near-mythical ferocity was raging. You then proceeded.
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