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I would endure the pain in order to spare him from it. It was the only thing I could do to protect the man I loved."Sex, Steven. You know, that thing that people do together when they're naked?"I was determined not to back off. I knew I had to maintain my momentum, or I was going to break down again. I started unbuttoning my blouse."I know what sex is, Sarah. But I don't understand why you are asking me this right now. Aren't you trying to break up with me? And would you stop that, for heaven's sake?"Steven grabbed my hands and physically prevented me from getting any further down than the third button. I had a lot of cleavage exposed, but that was all.I allowed him to hold my hands, and he didn't let go. It felt nice, I reflected briefly."Tell me what's going on. Please?"He was pleading now. I knew if I looked into his eyes I'd start crying again. I wondered if I'd made a mistake, but recognized it was too late to do anything about it."Look, Steven, there's a reason we can't be. Pan just sits there, not saying a word but clearly looking on. Ninay has been her best friend, but that was then and now they are no longer even talking.Ninay asks where they expect her to go? Krissell tells her in very simple Tagalog. She will be going back to the Philippines as she is still a minor and Krissell is her guardian. Ninay gets real quiet. Now for the first time in long time the reality of how lucky she is begins to sink in to her head. For over two years she has lived in the US without fear, without need and with a very comfortable life. She has come to expect it as her right. Ann and Krissell have just made it abundantly clear that she has no 'right' to it and she is damned close to losing all of it. She is about to argue that they have no right, but she knows Krissell at least does have a right to send her back. And even if she can stay in the US, the College education she is enjoying, her car, all will come to an end as will the connection to her only family in the.
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