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The last few weeks had been a rollercoaster of emotions I was barelyprepared to process now, let alone in those moments then. My mindfluctuated so hard every day between loving my new clothes and wanting tokeep going and accept my feminized persona and be Lily with Erin all thetime, and hating what I had become, wanting it only to be over andregretting that I ever had to be chosen in the first place. I loved mynew clothes and I loved Erin, but I was ashamed to love them like I didand I was afraid of what others really thought of me. I remembereddressing up for our date in one of my favorite outfits of the wholeexperience. She said I didn't have to, but in that moment I wanted to, alot. I remembered my pure emotional breakdown that came in the lockerroom, but also the way she pulled the first tube of lipstick across mylips and I couldn't get enough of that feeling, or her. Erin was like anaddiction. It didn't matter whether I had wanted to stop or not, becauseI couldn't. But when I had. I pulled his head tight to me. “Do you like it?” I asked. He said oh baby you have the prettiest tits and bra ever and then went back to kissing me there and sucking, too. My Daddy knows how to suck tits real good. (You probably noticed, Deedee, that since I’m a Real Woman now, I’ve mostly quit calling ‘em TIPS. It’s more sexier talking about my TITS, don’t you think? I know Daddy thinks so!! He tells Mommy and me both that it gets him hot when we use those real words.) Finally, after like forever, he asked if he could unsnap my new bra and of course I said please do sir and he laughed and he did that and there I was bare naked tits again and his lips were sucking my orioles and I had all these thoughts in my mind of mama birds feeding baby birds and I loved it. I know Mommy was behind me watching, and I really wanted her to be sucking my orioles too coz I like the look of them, and sucking feels great. I don’t suppose they’ll tell us that in Sex Ed either. I felt Mommy’s.
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