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I would be spending a lot of sleepless nights over the next many years, and most of them, for what it’s worth , would not be related to Jenna. No, they would be mostly about my lost love, Stacey Carter. God how I needed that woman! Knowing I could never have her again was destructive of my very soul! **** I guess it was the equivalent of a Dear John letter. The sometime might’ve, could’ve, should’ve been new love of my life, Madeleine Carter nee Barry, didn’t visit me, but she did write me. Of course she didn’t try to visit me because of my prohibition against visitors from wheresoever, well, except Aunt Delia. She was apologetic as hell. But the bottom line was that at her age she couldn’t wait for me to get out. She needed a man, a husband, sooner rather than later. I understood, and I empathized with her situation. I wrote her back a note of understanding and wished her well. I wasn’t sure Madeleine was a good fit for me anyway. She was great as a friend and sometime bed partner,. If it had been my mother I would never have been able to talk about her in that sort of tone or manner.Of course my mother was totally unlike Inga. Where Inga was plump and rather big, that is the ass and tits apartment, my mother was small and delicate. Her butt was small, high and pouting and her tits were hardly to be noticed under her blouse or shirt. Mom had long, slim legs a waist that narrowed considerably and hips that seemed to swell out because of her slim waist. I had never seen her naked but sometimes she wore rather tight clothes so I knew vaguely how she was molded.-=*=-The first week of October my grandmother died and we went to her funeral a couple of days later. There was about a dozen people attending the funeral service and some of them gave my mother a nod of acknowledgement but most of them just looked at her - and me. I didn't see mother shed any tears, not at the funeral and not afterwards either. Maybe she cried in her room, that I don't know.A week after the.
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