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Something seemed to click between the two of them right from the start. ‘I can control this,’ he assured himself as they began talk. A chuckle escaped his throat as he recalled that naive moment. He had been frightened. He knew he could fall in love with her, and deep down inside he knew he would. Twice he tried to back away, and twice he had failed. The first time he had made her angry. He had been stunned. He had no idea that she cared. He couldn’t stay away now, it was too late. She had told him about the ‘one.’ He remembered the ache he felt. He was married, she wasn’t. How could he possibly be her ‘one.’ ‘I hope you find him,’ his reply had been weak and transparent. She had laughed at him, ‘You know you want to try.’ He did. He wasn’t sure what he was most afraid of. Being the one, or not being him. One thing was certain, he wanted to be her love. He watched a man in a pickup smoking a cigarette. ‘Tobacco alley’, that was what she said on the phone. For a moment, he wished. I guess I just wanted to know that he was moving on, you know? I wanted to see that life was looking up for him, so I wouldn’t feel so guilty about it all the time.’ I think of the drunk comedian sitting on my deck chair, not so long ago, warning me about Jasmine who always gets her way. ‘And is he?’ She nods, but she doesn’t elaborate and she looks away as she does it. ‘Huh.’ I don’t even act like I believe her. She looks tired. ‘Have you eaten?’ ‘I had a sandwich. I’m not really hungry.’ ‘Oh.’ She shuffles from one foot to the other. ‘Are you going to be…recording again soon? Is that what everything was all about?’ ‘Yup. Tomorrow. I guess I’m finishing this album after all.’ She studies my face. ‘And then?’ I shrug. ‘It doesn’t change anything.’ Her shoulders fall a bit. ‘I suppose that’s good.’ ‘I think it is.’ ‘Well. Okay.’ Without another word, she shuffles into her bedroom and closes the door. I fall into the couch, dropping my head back onto the cushions and sighing. The.
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