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”“Oh Jeezus. Thank God,” I yelled, getting more angry glares from the people around us. I didn’t care. My sense of relief made it seem like Christmas.I still had a chance. I had ruined so many things and so many lives with a moment of weakness.They started the wedding march and the groom stopped talking to the people he was with. He went to stand in front of the minister who was conducting the ceremony.“Bastard!” spat Ed. He was having difficulty remaining still. I got the idea that he wanted to attack the guy.“The guy must be at least fifty,” he whined. “Corinne can’t be marrying him for his looks.”I laughed at that.“What’s so God damned funny?” he growled.“She married you, dumbass,” I snorted. “And you’re not exactly a handsome prince.”“That was different,” he said. “Corinne married me because ... she loved me...” his voice trailed off and he too shed a few tears.His voice was more choked up than I had ever heard it. I’ve known the bastard for all of his life. I’ve known him longer. Snapping out of his nostalgic reverie, Henry addressed his daughter, hoping to assuage her embarrassment at being caught masturbating and help rid her of any shame in the act. “Honey-tits,” he began, using his favorite punny pet name for his baby girl. “You don’t have to pretend like you weren’t touching yourself when I knocked on the door, you know. You’re a horny teenage girl. It’s natural for you to explore your cunny, whether it’s with one of your boyfriends or just alone in your room. Hell, your mother used to catch me stroking my trouser snake almost every day when I was your age. It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, baby. You’re a Humper - a lifetime of regular, guilt-free orgasms is your birthright! In fact, I don’t want to ruin the surprise, but let’s just say thatMommy and Daddy bought you a very special Christmas present that we think you’ll have a lot of fun with during those alone times in your room!”“Tee hee hee! You mean like ... uhhhhhhh ... a big long rubber wee wee,.
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