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I feel him grab the neck of my blouse and rip it open all the way down. I take a breath to try and calm down, think, and focus. You can’t do anything without thinking! My world stops again as I feel a cold, sharp point sliding down my chest. He has a knife against my skin. He slips it under my bra and pulls up, slicing my bra open. His hands are on my breasts, squeezing hard. I remember some lessons from a self-defense course. I am not going to just lie here and let this happen. I push my hand against his chest, trying to push him off me. I notice another problem as I do this, I think the blow to my head is making me nauseous. I don’t need this now. I clearly remember thinking to myself [Focus, you idiot. Take this fucker out. Stick to the training.] As expected, the man grabs my hands and pulls them down to my side. He snarls something nasty at me. That’s what I wanted him to do. Self-defense 101: pull one hand down to put him off balance, lurch up with your hips and twist until. I know I am far from innocent but if we were both heading in this direction then clearly something was very wrong with our relationship.I was missing Ben. Other than a few quick conversations with him that were interrupted by either Geoff or Cindy, we really hadn't had a chance to discuss what had happened between us. I was beginning to panic and worry that it had all been a big mistake and that Ben would want to sever ties with me. On top of that, Cathy hadn't been around yet because her husband was now home and hadn't gone back to work yet. Beth was missing her brother and as such spending more time away from home and out with her friends. It made me realize just how much time they did spend together.It was such a shock to my system going from such a huge high to this depressing new low. I was just feeling miserable and that was even beginning to make me physically ill. Chapter Eighteen. In the two weeks after that life changing couple of days a number of things have happened.The.
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