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App ungalai naan paarka mudiyaatha endru keten? En kanavan oru vaaram kazhithu oru naal chennai selgiraar andru naan veetil thaniyaaga thaan irupen appozhuthu nee veetirku vanthaal naan un udan time spend pandran endru solinaal. Ival evalavu oru oozhaga irukiraal endru paarungal naan eppozhuthu meet seiyalam endru ketal? Aval ookave vazhi solugiraal.Akka naan veetirku varum pozhuthu veru yarum vara matargala akka endru keten? Aval en veetil en kanavanai thavira veru yarum eppozhuthum vara matargal athanaal nee en veetirku vanthu jollyaga irukalam endru solinaal. Jollyana naan lungi kati kondu irukalama endru keten? Nee lungi ilamal kuda irukalam endru solinaal.Appozhuthu udane sunni viraithu vitathu, akka naan unmaiyile lungi ilamal thaan veetil irupen endru solinen. Nee epadi vendumanalum irukalam ena vendumanalum seiyalam endru solinaal, naan ithu naal varai ivalavu jollyaga irukum pennai paarthathe illai endru solinen. Naan apadi thaan romba jollyaaga irupen endraal.Sari akka naan. This made my conflict even stronger, as I wasinducted into a conservative branch of the faith, and felt sure that myneed for the feminine was a sin. This lead to a cycle of "binging" -getting girl clothes and trying to be as female as I could, followed byguilt and "purging" where I would get rid of everything, only to start upagain a week later, or even sooner.Not only that, I suffered severalbreakdowns, and seriously considered suicide several times.Finally, I realized I was hurting those who loved me by not taking care ofmyself. I got counselling for the abuse, and have finally began theprocess of being my true self. Almost immediately upon making thatdecision, I started reaping positive results. My blood ?pressure, whichwas dangerously high, dropped back into normal range. I have been able tobreathe for what seems like the first time, and it feels even better thanI hoped it would.Not that the road ahead is easy. I need to find a job that will accept meas I transition. I have to.
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