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Looking closer though, you noticed the sender is the name of that charity auction I was at a few weeks ago.Suddenly intrigued I cut open the envelope and read on, wondering what it could be:Dear Mr. Doe,We thank you for your participation in the One Heart Charity event two weeks ago. What you may not have known was that One Heart is collaborating with The Saturdays in our mission to cure heart disease. By donating one-hundred dollars or more you were entered in a drawing to have a day-long date with a member of The Saturdays! We are happy to inform you that you are our winner! Please call 555-HEART to make your arrangements.You couldn’t believe what you were seeing. You re-read the letter a few more times just to be sure this was no joke. A date with one of The Saturdays. It was practically any red blooded male’s dream. They were the most popular UK girl group and like any good girl group they all looked sexy as hell.Picking up the phone you had to see if this was a legit offer or if. Of course the Swiss Guards all knew Jack and I thought that a little suss but that night I made my way to a vast open arena which was crowded with wall-to-wall people. There on a large balcony appeared Pope Francis, and to my amazement that arsehole Jack Spratt. I was sure I was being set up so I asked the man standing beside me who that was on the balcony. He looked carefully and said, "Well I'm not dead sure who the person wearing white is but other man is Jack Spratt, an old friend of mine from when I lived in China."Boom Boom! ????mthommotooCompliments of Dennis... MY LIVING WILL:Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.'They got up, unplugged the Computer, and threw out my coke.They are SO on my shit list...A foursome of guys is waiting at the men's tee while a foursome of women is hitting from the ladies'.
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