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Anyone who knows my story knows I've had a few bad things happen to me.But I know others with lives that make mine look like a walk through thepark. I've been pitied, while it can feel good to have someone empathizewith me, a person gets tired of being the object of pity pretty fast.I've thought more than once that I know people are judged by how theytreat "the least of these", but I would be just as happy if "the least ofthese" was somebody other than me. Frankly, I would like to be worth morethan just pity.This isnt about my rape, or "hating" being a guy.Look, my memory of those years is beyond hazy, but some things I canrecall, especially now that I've started working on recovering from myassault. And my best recollection indicates that I blamed my wanting to befemale for my rape. In fact my memory suggests that my rapist used thatdesire as a means to help keep me under his control.I believe, and what evidence I have supports this, that rather thancreating "Dorothy" to deal with. After lunch, we had a little more success. Or was it sex-ess? She wanted an afternoon romp and I had to satisfy her, before she relaxed and slipped into the first real hypnotic trance. Using that trance, I laid the framework for further trances, giving her instructions to control her breathing, her muscles and her desire to be repeatedly hypnotized.We made love in the moon-lit pool that night. I stood in the shallow end so that the water was about armpit level as she rode me slowly. Because of the water and her legs wrapped around me, we couldn't build a rapid humping motion. So we used a slow stroking motion, using gentle pressure to satisfy each other.As we lay curled up in bed, I listened to her sleep, feeling the heat from her perfect body, feeling the blood pump through her body, hearing her deep breathing; knowing that she was the most fantastic woman that I had ever met. No wonder Bert is so desperate to have her.I had so many confusing feelings and thoughts. I wanted to slip.
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