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And cute as I watched her eat her meal. She reminded me of when Stan ate that wax apple. The whole "this should taste terrible but actually, it's kind of really good!" thing as she put the food into her mouth expecting the worst."Enjoy that?" I asked her as she finished her meal."Tasty!" she agreed as she felt for a tissue at the side of her plate and dabbed her mouth. Finally, she sat back and took a long slurp of her coke through a straw as I sat there drinking the bottled dog.There was a nervous silence that settled over us and I think we both knew that the time for forced small talk was over. That post "Okay, I told you I love you and you told me you loved me so what happens next?" talk where you say and admit things that usually only stay bouncing around inside your head.Where the heck do I start?Only this time it was her turn first."I meant it," she said. Her head was down as she fiddled around with her napkin and I could tell she was nervous and tense. But her admission fired. Chambers had worked her through that question. Helene had to admit that it was harder to end an affair than to begin one. Plus, Brian was there and always after her for sex. She admitted that she basked in the attention from this handsome younger man. He particularly loved Helene's choice of stockings, garters and heels, in and out of bed. Something she declined to do anymore for Michael.Why had she stopped wearing them when she knew Michael loved to see her dressed or undressed in that manner? She couldn't explain it.After about three months of therapy Dr. Chambers lowered the boom."Symptoms... Helene... symptoms. For the last three months we've been discussing symptoms but you haven't told me the real reason why you tried to destroy your marriage to a man you say is the only man you ever loved or could ever love. I want to know the root cause of your behavior."Honestly Claudia, I can't think of any overriding reason. I just made a horrible stupid mistake... and it's costing me.
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