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The first time I’d been eighteen I never realized how lucky I was. I’d been rather lazy and rarely if ever shaved but you know, there’s more territory to drag a razor over in this form than what would be on a person’s face. Oh sure. Being a tomboy so to speak I ended up being just as lazy, and decided I wouldn’t be doing it this time either. Sure I tried shaving my legs and under arms a couple of times but shit man, that’s just too much work when all I wanted to do is get on with things. I remember cutting my legs to ribbons in a failed attempt for that soft silky smooth etc type crap you hear on the TV. Now don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t settling into this ‘condition’ of mine or anything. I still have high expectations of my return to my proper and former condition. Never mind with the ‘When in Rome’ crap either. Get that out of your head. I’m Celt remember or at least I was. I had this whole anti Rome and it’s damn short hair policy that made people think I was into rock. Needless. ‘No, Aunt Hazel,’ my eyes slid away from the challenge in the woman’s stare. ‘I actually think you’re pretty. I told you before you went out – I think you’re gorgeous.’ I tilted the beer bottle to my mouth and took a deep draught to mask my discomfort in the silence that ballooned between us. ‘Really?’ Hazel asked. I could hear the need in her voice, the necessity for confirmation. ‘You’re not just saying that because I’m your aunt and you’re living in my house?’ ‘No, Aunt Hazel,’ I replied with a sigh of irritation – how many times did I have to tell her? ‘I’m not just saying it. You looked lovely tonight, I don’t have a clue what Ian was thinking.’ My aunt blinked, apparently accepting my reassurances, and offered up a wan smile. ‘You’re so kind,’ she murmured through quivering lips. I had a thought that real tears were imminent, but then, after a heavy sigh, Hazel added in a determined tone: ‘If I’m honest with myself though, Carl, I had an inkling that Ian would dump me tonight..
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