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Looking up at her, she had closed her eyes. In the giving of herself to me, she raised her right leg and rested her shoeless heel on the center console. There was no further need of words. No further need of invitation. No further need to imagine.Had c***dren had ever slid out of her pocket full of miracles, I wondered? I could not tell. But it was obvious that she was excited at the exhibition of her womanhood to me. Glistening wet, her lovely feminine lips yet remained sealed closed. Something would have to be done about that.Leaning further in, I raised her left breast and sucked on the continuing to lengthen nipple. My hand fell away to skate down her motherly torso to finally arrive cupping her thigh before sliding back up between her legs.Starting beneath her tucked lips, my finger wiggled its way into her warm, wet womb, separating those luxurious lips as it slid up across her clit. She flinched and moaned again, widening her offering. Whom ever she was and why she ever offered. They are talking about the night's football game, and I relax,letting my attention get back to my driving.Suddenly, I realize they have changed topics, and now they areinterviewing a man who accusing the basketball coach at a large Americanuniversity, claiming that the man abused him for years.I know I should turn the station, but my hand is frozen as he describesthe betrayal of trust, his powerlessness, the lack of help, and I can feelmy mind going dark, going back into my own past.I get to work, and from the outside, it looks like nothing is wrong. Imove, I talk, but my attention is totally drawn inward, as I find myselfhelplessly repeating the horrible words from my past."I am a toy. A toy does not think, a toy does not feel, a toy only obeys.A toy does not want, a toy does not need, a toy only serves. ..... I am atoy. A toy does not think, a toy does not feel ....."I cant seem to make it stop. All the grounding techniques, all theredirection methods are failing me, as I am caught.
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