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The afternoon Dad and I returned home from Mom's simple ashes-sprinkling ceremony by her cemetery marker, in accordance with her will, attended by a few relatives and close friends, I was numbed out. I wasn't surprised to see Dad get out a beer and make himself a thick roast beef sandwich; at 350 lb. that was just his way of coping. He asked me if I was hungry, which I wasn't, but I took the beer he slid across the table. Neither one of us was crying or even especially sad; I think we were both just relieved that it was over, both speechless. I drank another beer, watching Dad finish off a huge bowl of vanilla ice cream drenched in chocolate syrup. He let out an enormous belch, went to the living room, lit up a cigar and started watching a football game. Normally I'd leave him alone at that point, but this time I really needed his company, so I sat down next to him. He put his arm across my shoulders, something he'd done occasionally and briefly before, but this time he didn't take. “Your legs are beautiful…... your feet are beautiful.” He stood up, his arms around me. He pulled his shirt off, exposing his chest. “I think you are sexy.” He said.“I think you are sexy.” “Look at yourself.” He said turning me around, facing the mirror. I was trying to hide my uncomfortableness. Most women would have loved to have a fine looking man kiss and touch their body. I, on the other hand, was so self-conscious. It was such a foreign concept to be told how beautiful I was; how sexy I was. Here I was, standing in a dressing room, butt ass naked with a man whose last name I didn’t know, but made me feel like I was the most beautiful woman in the world. I didn’t think I was ugly or anything, but your self-esteem takes a hit when you see your husband out with another woman that looks better than you. Gabriel pulled the bench out, turned it long ways and motioned for me to sit. I sat down, wondering what he was going to do next. He moved my position, putting one leg on either.
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