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?It?s toocold.? Basil said, shivering. ?Basil please get in,?Beryl said reasonably. ?The water will get warmer I promise you. The faucet ispouring warm water in as I speak.? ?You?re sucha baby, Basil? Enid said, disgustedly. ?Please hurry up?I?ve got thingsgoing on.? Basilpouted. ?If I can?t go out and I have to let my sister?s bathe me and put me tobed early, the least I can ask is that the water be warm. I?ll wait.? Basil made atriumphant bratty look, ridiculous in a twenty-one year old. ?Sorry if I holdup your evening, but what do I care? I can?t go anywhere.? He smiled serenely. Beryl wasannoyed. ?So that?s what it?s about, is it?? Enid was enraged. ?Look, I?mgoing to a show in about twenty minutes. I am auditioning for lead singer ofDickie Scalpel and the Abortions, and they?re appearing tonight at the Satan?sRectum Club. You?re not going to hold me up just because Mum won?t let you goout.? ?I will if Ilike.? Basil said, and crossed his arms. This will show them all, the. " She also didn't like the treatment of the female characters. So there had to be a second tale, and a third, and -- and, there's no point in giving away the exact number of stories. Let that be a surprise. All I can say is that I, Dawn DeWinter, learned these tales from Big Sue herself and that I have decided to reveal them to the world. When you're finished reading Sherry's tales, I'll be asking: Are these tales not original? Well, at least partially original? And are they not brilliant? Well, at least brilliant considering the fact that Sherry, their author, was drunk, terrified, and a C student at Yale? When you've read to the end (or reached it by scrolling rapidly downward), I'll let you know whether Sherry's tales saved her ass. Oh, and I'll also tell you whether Sadie was sufficiently cunning as a linguist to keep Mike entertained and harmless. One last word before we begin: a truly original tale is indeed priceless. Alas, you won't be finding one here -- that is,.
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