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A snotty gob of spit trailed out of my mouth and I rubbed it all over her asshole. He chuckled and told me to fuck her in the ass. “Fuck that sticky little asshole,” he said in this very conservative, erudite aristocratic accent which made it sound so very odd.Hayden didn’t seem to mind that I spit on her or that I was going to put my cock all the way into her asshole.I still wasn’t sure how it would fit but I believed Betty when she said it could. My dick was rock hard anyway despite the many times I had jerked off. I know you may not believe it but on weekends I had masturbated at least thirty times when I had Internet and no one was home.“It’s like a Harry Crumb comic! A skinny little boy climbing on your stallion of a daughter’s back to ride her,” Mr. Stone was giddy with delight. My Uncle explained the reference to Harry Crumb afterwards when I told him this story.Harry Crumb used to draw skinny little guys riding on the backs of huge girls with big asses and freckles that. ’ Likewise, you will learn to spell ‘doughnut’ without skipping half the letters, and the suffix ‘-ize’ will be replaced by the suffix ‘-ise.’ Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up ‘vocabulary’).Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ‘like’ and ‘you know’ is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter ‘u’’ and the elimination of ‘-ize.’July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you’re not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can’t sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you’re not ready to.
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