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‘Actually,’ my wife cooed like she was talking to a baby, ‘It’s so precious how hard he tries. There’s nothing like watching a man give you everything he’s got. It’s one hell of an ego boost!’ All the women cackled while I fought the urge to throw up. ‘Then why cut him off all the time?’ my daughter asked, when she’d gotten control of herself. ‘Maria!’ Betty hissed. ‘Come on Mom, I’ve heard the arguments since I was a teenager. I know that’s about the only thing you and Daddy seemed to ever fight about. If Dad isn’t that bad in bed, why choose to be celibate?’ ‘Honey I’m not celibate,’ my wife replied loudly. ‘It’s just easier and more satisfying to use Leon the Lion every once in a while. There was an awkward pause for a moment before Betty continued. ‘That’s the name I gave my big vibrator I have hidden in our bedroom!’ All the women burst out laughing again. ‘Sweetheart,’ my wife continued, ‘I love your father, but in a marriage you have to make sure you’re the one in. “In fact, I have them in spades! Now, you probably could use some ‘mom points’.”“As if THAT is going to happen!”“I’ll sell you some ‘dad points’,” I said evilly.“If THAT is the price, I’ll buy all I can get!”“That didn’t quite work out the way I wanted,” I replied.“Do you really prefer cuddles to sex?” Kara asked, sounding serious.“I think I’m on another intimacy kick,” I replied. “You know I have those phases.”“A bad reaction to Jacqui?”“No, not at all! And it’s not about Cindi, either. It’s just one of my usual phases. I think part of it might be the diet, and the fact that my mood is totally even. You know that when I’m depressed or in a manic phase, I use sex either as medication or an outlet for energy.”“You know, I didn’t really think about it, but we haven’t made love quite as often in the past couple of months.”“Is that a problem?”“No, it was just something that dawned on me when I thought about it. It hasn’t bothered me, obviously. And Jess hasn’t said anything.”“Maybe we’re.
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