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What’s the difference between a lawn mower and a bagpipe? A. You can tune the lawn mower.Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust fordirections: an in-tune bagpipe player, an out-of-tunebagpipe player, or Santa Claus? A. The out-of-tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate youhave been hallucinating.Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe? A. Add vibrato.Q. What’s the definition of a gentleman? A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn’t.Q. What’s the difference between a dead snake in the road anddead bagpiper in the road? A. Skid marks in front of the snake.Q. What’s the difference between a dead bagpiper in the roadand a dead country singer in the road? A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recordingsession.Q. What’s the range of a bagpipe? A. Twenty yards if you have a good arm.Q. Why are bagpipers fingers like lightning? A. They rarely strike the same spot twice.Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune? A. Someone is. “Ahh, please, please, noooo!!!” She felt the huge cock ram all the way into her, all at once, tearing through the flimsy membrane that was her maidenhead in one savage thrust. “Oh, God, take it out, get it out of me. Please, that hurt so fuckin’ BAD!!” she begged. She could feel him buried full length inside her, and she tried to squirm out from under him, but she was face down on the bed, Andrea had her hands firmly pulled up in front of her, and the guy behind her a tight grip on her hips. She was powerless to dislodge him from inside her. “Please, please stop!” she begged, and gasped in relief as she felt him start to withdraw his member from her. It slid all the way out, but his hands still held her hips, and she thought her ordeal was finally over, even though he was still behind her. “No, no, no more, please, I’m begging you!” she sobbed, as she felt it going back inside. The pain was much less as it slid back into her body, and by his third stroke she was beginning to feel.
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