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I knew the familiar curls, the generous lettering. Maybe I shouldn't open it, I thought, while my fingers were already opening it.The box was crammed with balled-up white tissues. On top lay the yellow piece of paper I had left on her chest while she was sleeping. It had obviously been crumpled before being smoothed out again; the ink of the writing seemed blotted by moisture. A few words had been added at the bottom, but they were crossed out again. I tried to read them. I thought I saw "love."I remembered what I had written on the yellow paper. I knew I would regret the opening my words had left her. Why couldn't I have just been satisfied with a simple good-bye — maybe an added good luck? It must have been that damn four-letter word again. The word that starts with an l, but isn't "lust." Lust hadn't been in my thoughts for all the time she had been in my arms. My cock had stayed as dead as a cold, naked snail.But alas, yes, another organ had been highly involved — my heart. Damn. That was when I really made the decision that I wanted to be in the Club. I could feel that it was more than just secrecy and guys sitting around the room, I could feel that it was forbidden thing this Club represented. And though I had not idea what it was, my guts started to knot and my palms sweated and I wanted not only to join but enjoy these forbidden things. I wanted to belong to this secret group, to belong to something for the first time in my life.My resolve was set and I answered in a stronger voice than I had answered most of my questions earlier, "Yes." It was true after all - I had thought about me, mostly after the chance encounter of seeing her naked as she stepped from the shower.After my answer, it seemed liked the air was less thick in the room we all sat in. "Have you tried to see her naked again?" Yes." How did it go?"My mom is pretty strict about nudity and I tried to again walk into the bathroom when I knew she was drying herself - she had always locked the door.
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