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I know I'm having a harder time with this than Tom is. I made myself just lie still while Tom started undressing me. I know I was supposed to be helping him but I just couldn't. When he got all my clothes off he touched me down there. I froze. I'm so ashamed. We're married and I was afraid to let him touch me. I couldn't get daddy's face out of my mind. I was going to just lie there and let him do what he wanted but then I started crying. Tom was so sweet. If he weren't he would have kept going and just got it over with. I almost wish he had. Instead he just held me and let me cry. He tried later that night and this one was as bad as the first try. I couldn't stop crying. I told him to just go ahead. I know he thought I was angry with him because of the tone in my voice. I was angry. Just at myself not at him. I don't want to be like mom, frigid and no passion. I married Tom because he's the man that I want to make a life with. Tom tried 1 more time yesterday. Then, they infamously supported the British Regular Army and the Loyalists who swore fealty to the King and waged war on the Continental Army and on the civilian populace. The same lack of unity with the New Nation happened again in the War of 1812. Many of the Indian tribes took advantage of the fact that the Union Army was waging war against their own brothers in the south, the Army of the Confederacy by rising up and threatening the civilian populace in the western territories.In researching various textbooks related to the period covered, it became glaringly obvious that a large part of the conclusions reached by some well-respected historians was short on fact and heavy with opinion. My suspicion is that sometime in the early part of the twentieth century the "History" became heavily biased with political agendas and the attempt was made to distort eyewitness accounts with "Monday-morning quarterbacking" that served to bolster individual "feelings" about the subject. This seems.
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